Wreck It.

Thank goodness it’s Monday!

What!? I know, I rarely ever say that about Monday.

You will probably never say that about Monday either.

Let me tell you about last week.

It was freaking amazing.

Until Wednesday… at about 3:15 p.m.

I was on my way home from work and had just come to a standstill on the overpass because there was a stalled car somewhere on the freeway.

This is normal for Houston traffic.

Person on the side of the road…traffic, paper flying across the freeway…traffic, bright metallic green escalade with 24-inched rims…traffic.

You get the point.

Anyway, at that very moment, for some reason, I looked up in my rear view mirror only to see that a car was coming at me around 50-55 m.p.h.

In that very moment, I knew I was powerless, I shut my eyes and waited for the impact.

He hit me, and hard.

I pulled onto the shoulder, got out of the car in tears from the impact, and immediately called my dad, then 911.

Wrecks are no fun.

Especially when you get hit by an 18-year old boy who speaks very little English.

Or at least he pretended to speak very little English.

He was texting and driving…duh.

Oh, and not to mention…my car is totaled.

But I count my blessings…it could have been worse.

Then, there are days where I have epiphanies and think…did I really just create that?

Yesterday was one of those days.

IMG_0399Let’s pulverize some cashews while we blow off some car wreck steam.

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Then, that stuff up there…ya that…homemade coconut butter.

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Let’s blend those two together.

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What you get is a giant bowl of smooth, creamy, nutty, coconut, cashew heaven butter.

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Then we get extreme by adding: chopped cashew pieces AND toasted coconut.

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Mhhhhmmm…we like to do awesomely insane things around here.

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I mean, I’m not really sure how I did this.

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What car wreck?

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I’m on a crunchy tidal wave of coconut and cashew epic-ness.

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This is fully legal.

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It’s also fully loaded.

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Your Monday just can’t get any better.

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Oh, yes.

😉

Crunchy Toasted Coconut Cashew Butter
Author: 
Recipe type: Snack, Nut Butter
Cuisine: American
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 10-12
 
Creamy, slightly sweet coconut butter + nutty cashew butter come together w/ crisp toasted coconut and chopped cashews for the perfect crunch! Gluten-free, paleo, vegan.
Ingredients
  • 3 c. unsweetened, flaked coconut
  • 2 c. dry-roasted, unsalted cashews, plus 1c. roughly chopped cashews, for add-in
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
  3. Spread 1 c. of the coconut out evenly over the baking sheet.
  4. Bake for 5 minutes, tossing in between to prevent burning. Let cool completely on the baking sheet.
  5. Place the remaining 2 cups of coconut into a food processor and process on high until the coconut begins to break down and forms a smooth, silky butter. You want the end product to be a "drippy" consistency, very pourable. This takes about 3-5 minutes and you might need to stop the food processor and scrape the sides of the bowl down as you go. Set the coconut butter aside in a jar.
  6. Place the 2 cups of cashews into the food processor and process on high until a smooth and creamy nut butter forms.
  7. Pour in a ½ c. of the coconut butter and process until everything is combined. The nut butter should be extremely creamy and smooth with a semi-drippy like consistency, but thick.
  8. Fold in the toasted coconut, and the remaining 1 c. of chopped cashews.
  9. Serve on toast or spread on anything else that comes to your imagination. 🙂

MANGIA!!!

Arrivederci, Weekend!

Y’all.

It’s Monday morning.

I always dread Sunday because it means that I have less than 24 hours until work.

It also means that my weekend is far gone and I can’t relive the wedding I went to on Saturday.

Bummer city.

We can’t let Monday get the best of us tho (isn’t that the way all the cool kids are spelling it?).

My seester is probably gritting her teeth somewhere at my poor use of proper grammar.

What we need to start the week is a “good for you breakfast.”

I’m talking the kind that is portable.

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You know, the kind of breakfast that you can eat with one hand, while using the other hand to steer the wheel of your car.

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I’m talking baked oatmeal…in a square form…

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chock full of sweet bananas, hearty oats, coconut, and crunchy pecans + walnuts.

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Oh yes.

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I may have even topped it w/ some homemade coconut butter.

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But only because I’m awesome like that.

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Oh, and because I need you to fit in that hot outfit that you wear to your next wedding shin-dig.

Baked Banana Oatmeal
Author: 
Recipe type: Breakfast
Cuisine: American
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 9
 
Baked oatmeal bars chock full of sweet bananas, coconut, hearty oats, walnuts + pecans. Gluten-free, refined sugar-free, vegan option.
Ingredients
  • 1 very ripe banana, mashed
  • ½ c. coconut milk yogurt
  • 1 large egg (or 1 flax egg)
  • 2 T. pure maple syrup
  • 2 T. extra-virgin olive oil
  • ½ t. pure vanilla extract
  • 1.5 c. gluten-free rolled oats
  • ¼ c. almond flour
  • ½ T. ground cinnamon
  • ½ t. baking powder
  • ½ c. unsweetened, shredded coconut
  • ½ c. chopped walnuts
  • ½ c. chopped pecans
  • slightly melted coconut butter, for topping
Instructions
  1. Grease an 8 in. square pans with cooking spray.
  2. In a large mixing bowl, combine the banana, yogurt, egg, maple syrup, evoo, and vanilla.
  3. Stir in the oats, almond flour, cinnamon, and baking powder.
  4. Fold in the coconut, walnuts, and pecans.
  5. Let the batter sit overnight to let the oats soak.
  6. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 20-25 minutes in a preheated 350 degree oven, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the oatmeal comes out clean.
  7. Cut into 9 square bars.
  8. Top with coconut butter and extra chopped walnuts + pecans if you wish.

MANGIA!!!

Secret Recipe Club.

It’s Secret Recipe Club time.

Let’s chat about my roots though.

I have 100% Texas roots, I like to wear my cowboy boots, go rodeo-ing, and eat barbecue until the cows come home. Don’t challenge me to a barbecue eat-off…I will win, especially if there is pulled pork and coleslaw involved…preferrably over a slab of hot corn bread. Oh mah gaaaaah.

Let’s go back to that cowboy part. I love me some cowboys. Heck, the best part about going to the rodeo is trying to figure out which bull-rider isn’t wearing a wedding ring while you scope him out from the nosebleed section. But…who does that?

My Dad…he is definitely a cowboy. Now, he doesn’t go out back and scramble calf’s, heard cattle, or milk cows. Nope, he is more of your rodeo committee, button down wearing, fix anything broken, trench digging cowboy. Oh, yea…and he pulls off a cowboy hat and boots effortlessly.

A couple of weeks ago when I made these muffins, my dad, being the blunt man of the year voiced that he just didn’t really care for bananas or blueberries anymore. I told him that was perfectly fine seeing as those muffins weren’t intended for him to begin with. More for me :). Anyway, he hinted (like I don’t already know) that cookies w/ chocolate, nuts, coconut, etc. are the way to his heart. Sooooo…when I found out that my secret recipe blogger was Lynne from  365 Days of Baking , I knew I just haddddd to make her recipe for Laura Bush’s Cowboy Cookies. Lynne is a rock star wife and mom with one son and two daughters. Oh, yea, and she knows a thing or two about baking. I mean just check out her extensive, not to mention enticingly delicious, recipe index. Miss Indecisive (that’s me) wanted to try them all! But, really…come on…you just can’t go wrong with cookies.

Now, I could have really tried to make these vegan, or gluten-free, etc etc. But seriously……..these are cowboy cookies. Cowboys aren’t vegan or gluten-free…I mean, their main food staples practically involve a huge slice of toasted white bread smothered with some sort of barbecued brisket, topped high w/ pickles, onions, and any other fixin’ imaginable.

No, cowboys eat real food.

Like cookie dough.

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You know how to tell if a cookie is going to be delicious?

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If the cookie dough is out of this world delicious.

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These are those type of cookies.

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Seriously y’all, I could have eaten the cookie dough in one sitting.

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But then the actual baked cookies…

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are absolutely sinful.

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I can’t even deal.

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It’s one of those cookies that is chocolate-fied, crispy, chewy, crunchy, ooey, gooey,

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and chock full of delicious things all in one.

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I’m pretty sure these are by far THE BEST cookies.

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You know that being the cookie monster that I am…

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these cookies must be tha bomb!

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Cowboys everywhere will unite to eat these.

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These are the type of cookies that produce a marriage proposal.

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Mrs. Laura Bush, you know your cookies, Lynne…you are a genius for reproducing this recipe!

5.0 from 2 reviews
Cowboy Cookies
Author: 
Recipe type: Cookies
Cuisine: American
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 18
 
A deliciously crispy, chewy, ooey, gooey cookie filled with hearty oats, coconut, walnuts, and chocolate chips.
Ingredients
  • ¾ c. (1.5 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
  • ¾ c. granulated sugar
  • ¾ c. packed light brown sugar
  • 1½ large eggs
  • 1½ t. pure vanilla extract
  • 1.5 c. flour (if you want to make them gluten-free, you can use ¾ c. oat flour + ¾ c. all-purpose gluten-free flour)
  • 1½ t. baking powder
  • 1½ t. baking soda
  • ½ t. ground cinnamon
  • ½ t. salt
  • 1½ c. rolled oats (use certified gluten-free if making gf)
  • 1 c. sweetened, shredded coconut
  • 1 c. chopped pecans (I used chopped walnuts)
  • 1½ c. semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used a combo of semi-sweet, dark chocolate chips & chunks)
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
  2. In the bowl of an electric mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter.
  3. Gradually add the sugars and continue beating til light and fluffy.
  4. Add half of the eggs and make sure they are well incorporated before adding the next half.
  5. Add the vanilla.
  6. In a large mixing bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt.
  7. With the mixer on low, gradually add the flour mixture to the butter mixture until just combined.
  8. Using a spatula, fold in the oats, coconut, nuts, and chocolate chips until evenly distributed.
  9. Drop the dough by rounded tablespoon fulls on to the prepared baking sheet.
  10. Bake for 15-18 minutes or until lightly golden.
  11. P.S. These cookies spread a little during baking and the result is huge, mondo sized cookies 🙂

MANGIA!!!