In My Skin

I know I haven’t posted since February. Life has been busy. I moved into a new place of residence in May with my p.i.c. Amber. We met at work in January and became instant friends. It has been soooooo much fun. I got into a relationship with a really nice guy on Super Bowl (the day of super bowl to be exact). If anyone knows me, I am extremely private when I’m in a relationship, meaning, I don’t change my facebook status to “in a relationship,” and I don’t blast my significant other all over my instagram. Well, I broke up with him four weeks later because my heart was still hung up on the guy I was dating last year. My heart still hasn’t recovered from that, probs will take a million years to do so. Some crap happened in March with said guy because I like to make dumb decisions sometimes. What can I say? The heart governs the mind. Sometimes, you just have to risk things in life. Everything is a lesson. I’m 29 & I’m still learning. Fast forward to last month when I decided to give nice guy a second chance in order to reconfirm that it wasn’t my previous feelings for other guy that ended the relationship. Gave it about two weeks & I.felt.nothing. There were things missing. I couldn’t see him in my future. I wasn’t being myself. It was a mess. Y’all…to not have emotions or feelings is extremely out of the ordinary for me. I’m Italian, we hug strangers and cry when we listen to Frank Sinatra. Anyway, let’s jump to some stuff that’s been on my mind lately: being comfortable in your own skin.

I was recently on Twitter (yes, i have a Twitter acct. sue me) and I noticed a tweet from a guy basically shaming people for taking selfies. I don’t start drama or reply to b.s. on Twitter, so I started to think about this…a lot. Maybe taking a selfie means different things for people. I know a ton of people who think it’s all about vanity, but for me, it’s actually about self love and self confidence. I know that sounds crazy, but if you know anything about my past with body image (read this post), you will understand why. It’s not always pretty, I don’t always wear makeup or curl my hair, and I feel most comfortable in a long tank top, chilling on my bed watching t.v., with my house slippers on and my hair in a high pony. I have flaws, and I absolutely love them. I have freckles on my nose, dimples on the back of my thighs, and a J.LO booty to match. Have I thought about running myself to death trying to workout to get rid of that butt? Oh yes, but then I think…who am I doing that for? Not me. I love every inch of myself and why should i have to change that? Why can’t I take a selfie and gladly post it to social media with some inspirational quote or song or emoji? I will do what i want thank you very much. It’s taken me years to love myself for who I am. Hell, I still have days where I struggle but then I think, one day, I will find some lucky man who will love me for everything that I am, and I am completely content with that. Sooooo, eat the piece of cake, dance on the table at the club with your friend’s at 3 a.m., order the bottle of champagne, take that trip, and snap the damn selfie, and post it unabashedly to social media. You have my permission.

XOXO

UPDATE!

HELLO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

I miss y’all!

Here is a lil’ update on my life.

I started my new job on Monday!

I’m a “Fit Break Instructor” for a corporate company here in Houston.

Basically, what I do is go to different offices within 3 buildings and conduct 10 minute fit/stretch breaks w/ employees.

It’s pretty awesome because it allows people who sit behind a computer screen all day, to really get a good stretch and move around.

Let’s do a lil’ re-cap on the past 3 days:

Day One: Ummmmm…is it going to be $25 everyday to park? Are you serious? Not happening. I need that money for pilates workouts and new shoes…duh. I love my co-workers, they are the shiz-nat. I love people w/ smiling faces and positive attitudes. I’m terrified of people staring at me while I teach them stretches. Please, please, talk!

Day Two: Are there really bosses that want to see you succeed? Um yes, there are! Their names are Joy and Sarah, and they are IT! You need these bosses. Get on my level! I’m feeling more comfortable w/ these routines. Anxiety is heightening but it will quell. Why is it rainy and cold outside? Seriously? Nightclub cardio kicked my bootay today! Who knew dancing could be such a workout? Who knew this girl could twerk? 😉 Is parking still $25?

Day Three: I’m hungry all the damn day! I eat everything! I did my first fit breaks today on my own…what was there to stress about? I GOT DIS! Hello $3 daily parking, I love you! Now I can get a puppy! Have I mentioned I love my coworkers are awesome? Yea, that. I found the cafeteria today…loaded salad for the win! Oh, and butternut squash and 3 coffees. CHEESUS. I hit a guy with my fist while stretching today. I don’t know if he actually felt it. The treck to my car was amazing. Sitting down was not amazing: see night club cardio reference on day 2.

That’s all! I should be back soon w/ some trash food for y’all!

MANGIA!!!

Until we meet Again.

Well, I can’t believe I made it to Friday.

This week has been a doozy to say the least.

Let’s start with Monday.

I lost my best friend, Annabelle, “Bella,” Ethridge.

IMG_0361She was my sister & my soul mate.

Although my family only had her for two years, we felt as though Annabelle was meant to be apart of our family from the beginning.

She was one of the best dogs I have ever owned.

But her story is what really makes her special.

I am going to post an excerpt of what my sister wrote shortly after Bella’s death that will explain her story (frankly, I would break down in tears if I had to write about her).

Two years ago, my sister and I responded to a Craigslist ad about a white lab. We went to meet the woman giving her up, she said that she had rescued her from a puppy mill in Tennessee and that she had another dog and Bella’s upkeep was too much to handle. Chelsy fell in love and we took Bella home with us. She was scared of people and hid from most men – running away from all of our guests. She only slept next to my sister, sat near my sister, put her paw on my sister. She only let her be closest to her and touch her paws. I’ve never seen a dog so attached to a human. Bella would walk around with these little babies in her mouth and drop them to my sister. She’d fall asleep and snore so loudly. She was so great at catching food in her mouth and loved bison bars and bacon. But someone beat her so badly that she couldn’t sit right on a formerly broken back leg. She couldn’t stop having seizures. She was suffering. This morning, my sister had to let this amazing girl go and find peace. I can’t stop crying as I write this, as I want everyone to know how much her life meant, even if you think she was just another dog. I will miss you Bella when I come home, as I know my sister will miss your presence every day. I have no doubt that you have now truly found peace. May the people who treated you so wrong suffer immeasurable pain.

Bella was laid to rest on Monday after suffering from periodic seizures that eventually led to liver cancer.

Our last moments together were soul-aching, yet beautiful. I stood with my dad by her side, let her smell my hand, and she licked me right before she past.

It was almost as if she was saying, “thank you for loving me.”

I felt a sense of relief as I look at her, tears pouring from my eyes, because she was so peaceful, finally entering the Kingdom to be with her Maker.

My dad buried her in the backyard that morning, where she will lay to rest peacefully, under our st. francis statue, for eternity.

This week has been full of those “cry myself to sleep nights.”

Princess, our elderly yorkie, looks lost as she searches for her best friend.

She has been a source of comfort for me in the time and has even volunteered to sleep in my room, in the same spot that Annabelle slept in. 🙂

I am so glad that I got to give Bella the best two years of her life.

I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking to share the story of what was the kindest, sweetest, most loving dog I have ever known.

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I’ll miss you, sweet Annie B.

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All my love, until we meet again.

MANGIA!!!