Coffee Chatter.

Coffee talk.

Real talk.

Let’s go!

Pronto!

Scene: Yesterday morning. I see 3 overripe bananas on the counter. Dun-dun-dun…banana bread? Uno problemo: zero flour to bake with.

Then, I get the “brilliant” idea to make a banana bread baked oatmeal. Now, it sounded like a genius idea, and looking at pictures of beautifully baked oatmeal on Tastespotting and Foodgawker, I was for sure that the stuff would be a hit!

WRONG!

Now, this stuff may look pretty

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but I would love to equate the taste to dog food or dirty socks. Not even a high-end dog food.

Hell, I wouldn’t even fee it to my dogs.

#1. It was banana over-kill.

#2. I don’t even like oatmeal!!!? What was I thinking?

#3. All of the chopped walnuts and delicious coconut sugar topping couldn’t save the bland hospital food taste of this things insides.

So, that being said…if we were having coffee this morning, I would definitely NOT be feeding you this.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that after that failure, I had absolutely NO motivation WHAT SO EVER to bake/cook or even look at food the rest of the day. So disappointing…

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that yesterday while grocery shopping, I got reeled in by the smell of a huge craw fish boil outside.

If we were having coffee, I would also tell you that this is ironic seeing as I absolutely detest craw fish boils…only because I detest peeling craw fish. All of that work for one piece of meat? No thanks.

If we were having coffee, then I would tell you that if you brought me a huge bowl of crawfish etouffee (duh, crawfish is already peeled)…I would totally, totally love you…FOREVER.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I am in dire need of a pedicure and then I would ask you to join me for one today.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I have given up artificial sweeteners, except for the cup of sugar-free vanilla syrup that I have with my coffee…or the Truvia that I sprinkle on my pancakes.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that for breakfast I ate half of a grilled  charred marinated pork steak that my dad made yesterday…with a few of my cinnamon pancakes. Charred because I like all THINGS NEAR BURNT. Oh, and pork and pancakes…the new chicken and waffles? I say yes.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I seriously feel incomplete after running out of my multi-vitamins yesterday and not being able to take them this morning.

If we were having coffee, I would also tell you that I refuse to take anything that is not a CHEWABLE multi-vitamin. I was also taking Flinstones chewables until I was half-way through college.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I literally jumped up and down when I discovered that my local health food store decided to sell THESE!

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I am craving all things chocolate.

And DARK CHOCOLATE at that. This isn’t normal for a milk chocolate connoisseur.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I have been contemplating saving up so much money that one day I can just jet off on my own personal vacation.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I would love to visit Greece, learn the language, live, eat, and breath myself in olives, feta cheese, and tzatziki sauce.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that yesterday for lunch I crumbled a peanut butter muffin on top of my salad made of roasted veggies, kale, and zucchini pancakes.

I’ve lost my mind. 🙂

So, tell me…what’s new…tell me about your kitchen disasters, new cravings, weird obsessions, etc.

MANGIA!!!