There are few people who know every little detail about me.
Come to think about it, my parents and my baby sister are probably the only people that know me, every little scar, freckle, talent, and experience I have been through.
That’s probably because they have each played essential roles in my life.
Plus, they are blood…the only people I can trust.
I’ve been in remission for 6 years.
No, I wasn’t addicted to drugs or sex or shopping.
It was deeper than that.
When people think “eating disorder,” they may automatically assume that it has to do with food.
But really, they are completely and utterly wrong.
An eating disorder has absolutely nothing to do with food and everything to do with what that person is going through, or has gone through, or circumstances in their life that they can’t control so naturally…
FOOD becomes the only thing that they can control.
That was it for me.
In college, I was always hard on myself.
I felt that I owed it to my parents to make good grades as they were shelling out thousands to give me a great college education.
So, I worked hard. I graduated with honors.
My eating disorder began when I was a freshmen in college.
I was skipping meals and exercising until my calorie balance was in the negative.
I probably dropped 30 pounds my first year of college.
I think my parents assumed that this was typical for a girl who was super type A and an excelling student.
It wasn’t until my junior year of college when my sister and I moved into an apartment together that she noticed what was going on.
I wasn’t leaving the house or interacting with friends because everything involved food.
I controlled every bit of food that went into my mouth and ate on a schedule.
If I was one minute past 6 a.m. for breakfast, I would skip it.
I never ate lunch.
I ate dinner for about 3 people because I had anxiety about school or work or life in general.
I remember my sister calling my parents and telling them to get up to Austin as fast as they could.
If she hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t be here today.
That was only the beginning.
My parents were going through an extremely rough time in their relationship during my senior year of college.
I being the oldest of two daughters carried all the weight on my shoulders.
Nobody asked me to, but I felt as though it was my job to be the glue that held my family together.
I remember the day I graduated college like it was yesterday.
My little sister took photos of me dressed up with my hair in curls and told me I looked beautiful.
How could I be beautiful when I was a skeleton?
I wore 4-inch heels across the stage to receive my diploma and I thought that my knees were literally going to buckle beneath me.
It wasn’t until my doctor diagnosed me with osteoporosis of the spine at age 23 that I decided I could no longer abuse my body.
And here I am today…healthy and stronger than ever.
6 years recovered from my eating disorder.
This picture of my spine isn’t of me trying to be sexy or sultry.
I’ m not that type of girl.
It’s real and raw and it’s of the very thing that scared the shit out of me.
People always ask me about my relationship with my sister.
If it wasn’t for her intervening in my life…I would be dead.
It’s the truth.
There is so much more to this story and I will be sharing my story with a group students this year.
Today is the first day of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.
If you know someone who is suffering with an eating disorder, please reach out…you may be that one person who can help them when everyone else has turned a blind eye.
Thank you all for continually supporting my blog.