Date Me.

Here we go again.

One of my uncles (the same one who is always interested in my relationship status) is once again, trying to play matchmaker.

I know he cares, but seriously, I just want to be left alone.

Now, he wants to hook me up w/ this millionaire 27 year old who basically inherited his family’s money.

Dear Lawd.

I’m not afraid to be in a relationship with a guy.

It’s just that I want to focus on myself right now and when the time is right, then get myself into a serious relationship.

He acts like I’m on my death bed or something.

I’m 26, I’m pretty sure I have my entire life ahead of me…plenty of time to be getting married and popping out babies.

If he keeps on pushing it I will probably go on a date to shut him up and see where that takes us.

Have you ever had that one family member who is super nosey?

Well, I have a lot of nosey family members…but he, he takes the cake.

Or in this case, the cannoli.

Do I have a sign plastered to my forehead that reads: “Single, white female in desperate need of man to satisfy that “void” in her life.”

Ummmmm…no.

But because I’m awesome…I’ll give it a shot.

Pray for me.

The only dates I like are the ones in this cookie.

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The kind of date that involves coconut and chocolate chips.

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Oh yes.

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Plus, you don’t have to worry about fixing your hair, make-up, or shopping for a cute outfit.

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It’s just you, these raw coconut cookie dough balls,

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and netflix.

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Feel free to send some advice my way 😉

5.0 from 1 reviews
Raw Chocolate Chip Coconut Butter Cookies
Author: 
Recipe type: Cookies
Cuisine: American
Prep time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 10
 
Creamy coconut butter cookies chock full of sweet dates, coconut, and studded w/ mini dark chocolate for the perfect healthy treat. Gluten-free, vegan, paleo, raw, nut-free, no added sugar.
Ingredients
  • ½ c. soft, pitted Medjool dates
  • ½ c. slightly melted coconut butter
  • 1 c. unsweetened, shredded coconut
  • ½ t. vanilla extract
  • pinch of salt
  • ⅓ c. vegan mini chocolate chips
Instructions
  1. Place the dates in a large food processor and puree until a ball forms.
  2. Add the coconut butter , coconut, vanilla, and salt and puree again until a crumbly, sticky mixture begins to form.
  3. Fold in the chocolate chips.
  4. Scoop a small cookie scoop, or your hands, to roll the dough into balls.
  5. Store the cookies in the refrigerator to set.
  6. Devour.

MANGIA!!!

Broken Oven.

 I’m pretty sure.

Nope, I’m positive that my oven is 100% broken.

Yep, electric piece of…

It came with the house so I mean, who knows how old it is.

Anyway, good thing I like to make things that don’t require an oven.

Even though I’m totally biting my tongue at the moment.

I’m convinced this won’t get me down.

Challenge accepted.

🙂

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I love me some raw desserts/snacks…?

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 Okay, I’m pretty sure these qualify as cookies.

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Okay, they are TOTALLY cookies.

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But they are totally healthy.

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Practically calorie-free.

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Who needs an oven when you’ve got these babies?

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Not me.

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🙂

Almond Butter Coconut Cookie Bites
Author: 
Recipe type: Cookies, Snack
Cuisine: American
Prep time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 14
 
No bake, raw almond butter cookies stuffed w/ coconut & cacao nibs for the perfect energizing snack. Gluten-free, paleo, vegan, refined sugar-free.
Ingredients
  • ¼ c. +1 t. unsalted, raw almond butter
  • ¼ c. coconut flour
  • ¼ c. ground flaxseed meal
  • ⅓ c. unsweetened, shredded coconut
  • 2 T. pure maple syrup
  • 1 t. coconut nectar
  • ½ t. vanilla extract
  • ¼ c. cocoa nibs, optional
Instructions
  1. Place all of the ingredients in a large mixing bowl and stir using a spatula until thoroughly mixed.
  2. Refrigerate the dough for 1 hour to firm.
  3. Once chilled, roll the dough into small balls.
  4. Serve.

Nutritional Facts (1/14th of recipe): Calories: 63, Total Fat: 4g, Sodium: 1.2mg, Potassium; 51mg, Total Carb: 5.6g, Dietary Fiber: 2.1g, Sugars: 2.3g, Protein: 1.5g

MANGIA!!!

Secret Recipe Club.

I was totally sick last week.

I’m talking extreme head cold, sore throat, cough, hack, ick.

Thanks to my good ole’ dad from bringing his sick self home from work and passing it on.

You’re awesome 😉

By Saturday morning I was feeling back to my lively self and was super excited to cook up my recipe for this month’s Secret Recipe Club reveal.

Of course, after keeping a diet of bland chicken & soup broth for the past couple of days, I was ready to jump head first into something appetizing…and of course, sweet.

Just my luck, my secret blogger for the month was Rhonda, the sweet lady behind the blog, The Kitchen Witch.

Don’t be fooled, Rhonda is no witch.

But, she is in the sense that she can definitely cook/bake up some delicious recipes.

She definitely has something magical going for her in the kitchen.

I picture her stewing over a large black cauldron in her kitchen, throwing bits and pieces of whatever she kind find in the pantry into her pot, only to serve me a huge bowl of yummy goodness.

Rhonda is also an extreme biker chick, so she’s got that tough gal mother/wife, take no crap in the kitchen, I am woman, hear me roar persona.

I love it.

Rhonda has so many scrumptious recipes to choose from, but this recipe, well…it spoke to my heart.

Rhonda’s No-Bake Nutella Pretzel Cookies had my name written all over them.

Only…I had no Nutella.

Gasp!

Actually, I lie.

I totally did, but not enough for the recipe 🙂

So, improvisation it was.

I am a lover of all things salty.

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So, the pretzel thing got me super excited.

Then, we throw some oats into these clusters so ya know

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they are practically calorie free.

I couldn’t get over how easy this was to make.

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Hello one pot dessert/snack.

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Sweet, salty, crunchy, oaty, buttery goodness.

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I substituted almond butter for the nutella and ERRRRR MAH GAHD, super nutty taste.

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These are the perfect snack-a-lack.

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You know how I feel about snacks.

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Mhmmmmmmm.

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5.0 from 1 reviews
No-Bake Almond Butter Pretzel Cookies
Author: 
Recipe type: Cookies
Cuisine: American
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 22-24
 
No-bake cookies/clusters chock full of almond butter, pretzels, & oats for the perfect hearty & sweet snack.
Ingredients
  • 1 c. sugar (I used coconut sugar)
  • ½ c. whole milk (I used coconut milk)
  • ½ c. unsalted butter (you can use vegan butter or coconut oil)
  • pinch of salt
  • ¾ c. Nutella (I used almond butter)
  • 1 t. pure vanilla extract
  • 2 c. quick cooking oats (I used certified gluten-free rolled oats)
  • 1 c. pretzels, broken into small pieces (I used gluten-free)
Instructions
  1. In a large sauce pot over medium-high heat, bring the sugar, milk, butter, and salt to a boil.
  2. Boil for 1 minute, remove from heat, stir in the almond butter & vanilla until smooth.
  3. Fold in oats & pretzels.
  4. Let cool enough so that the mixture starts holding together, about 3 minutes.
  5. Drop batter by spoonfuls onto wax paper lined baking sheets.
  6. Let cool completely.



Mi Madre.

My mother is a great dancer.

Did I say great? Great …I mean’t unbelievable! Home girl definitely knows how to cut a rug on the dance floor.

So much so that I can’t even keep up with her!

It’s actually one of the qualities I admire most about my mom.

When she dances at parties, weddings, back yard barbecues, or even at home in the living room with the country music station blasting a two-stepping Brooks and Dunn song…she is in her element, she is free…if you will.

I think I get my love for dancing from her. I can sometimes be the most close-minded, fearful, anxious, creature of habit…butttttt put my dancing shoes on, and it’s like I’m an entirely different person.

I like this Chelsy who can be free, without a care in the world. It’s refreshing.

Dancing isn’t just how my mom and I have fun, it’s how we communicate…having a good time on the dance floor is us bonding.

She mostly teaches me the moves…woman knows everything from how to two step…to how to Dougie.

What can I say?

She’s my idol.

I mean, you have to give the woman credit for carrying me around for nine months…on top of going through a labor that lasted at least half a day.

Sorry about that.

My mom deserves that and so much more.

She also deserves dessert.

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Even if it’s a healthy dessert.

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Even if it’s a raw dessert.

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She won’t know the difference.

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On another note, I admire my mother for being able to hold her own when it comes to eating pie

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or a big, juicy Whataburger w/ a large fry and a large chocolate shake.

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If you don’t believe me

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feel free to come over any night of the week after she’s had at least 2 glasses of wine.

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You will be amazed.

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I can guarantee it.

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Now, my mom probably doesn’t remember this.

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Just how she doesn’t remember that we’ve seen Mona Lisa Smile about 182734382 times

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and still she claims to have never seen it…

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each time we watch it…again and again.

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I think she does it on purpose. 😉

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When I was younger, I was obsessed with Nilla Wafers.

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My mom always bought them for me and when she would make her chocolate delight,

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I would take two Nilla wafers and sandwich them together with a big dollop of Cool Whip.

Trust me on this one.

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Then I started getting super creative by sandwiching them together w/ peanut butter and banana.

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Then I would just 86 the banana and dive head first into a jar of peanut butter with a couple of Nilla’s.

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This pie is like my little homage to that Nilla/PB memory.

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Only, this pie gets all adult-like fancy with almond butter.

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I’m a crust girl.

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This pie is nothing w/out the crust.

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Super simple: almonds, vanilla, dates, coconut oil…BADA-BING!

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Buttttttt then, there is this creamy,

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banana almond butter filling

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that is to die for!!!

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A filling that is sooooo rich

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that it almost makes this crust girl…a filling girl.

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Almost. 😉

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Did I mention this thing is raw, gluten-free, vegan, and paleo?

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Ya, i’m finished.

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The

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End.

Almond Butter Banana Cream Pie
Author: 
Recipe type: Dessert, Pie
Cuisine: American
Prep time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 2
 
A creamy, delicious almond butter banana filling over a crunchy almond crust sweetened w/ dates. Gluten-free, raw, vegan, and paleo!
Ingredients
  • For the crust:
  • 1 c. raw almonds
  • 10 Medjool dates, pitted
  • ¼ t. pure vanilla extract
  • 1 T. melted coconut oil
  • For the filling:
  • 1 large, ripe banana
  • ½ c. unsalted, raw almond butter (I used my toasted coconut banana almond butter...see recipe index)
  • ⅓ c. pure maple syrup
  • ⅓ c. unsweetened, vanilla almond milk
  • ¼ t. pure vanilla extract
  • ¼ t. fine sea salt
  • extra banana slices, for garnish
Instructions
  1. For the crust, place all of the crust ingredients in a large food processor and pulse until a crumbly mixture forms.
  2. Press the crust evenly into 2 individual deep-dish casserole dishes or an ungreased dish of your choice. Set aside.
  3. For the filling, place all of the filling ingredients in a large food processor and process on high until smooth and creamy.
  4. Pour the filling evenly over the crust, using a spatula to smooth it out.
  5. Cover with plastic wrap and freeze for 1 hour or so or until set.
  6. Garnish with banana slices and serve at room temperature.

 

MANGIA!!!

Secret Recipe Club

Happy Monday y’all,

This is that Monday of the month where I get super freaking ridiculously excited for my Secret Recipe Club reveal. I have been doing this for quite some time now and it really brings me joy to connect with all of my lovely secret recipe clubber(s) around the net! This month I had the honor of choosing a recipe from Desiree’s food blog, Steak N’ Potatoes Kinda Gurl. I knew that just by the title (oh, and how cute her blog is), that Des and I could be instant friends. We practically are bff’s already, right? Duh. Anyhoo, a little info. about Des: she is 27, born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, and engaged to her bf of 12 freaking years, PJ! You go girl! I felt like I could really relate to Des, especially when she mentioned she has a love for Dr. Pepper, reality t.v., and of course, southern food…which runs deep in her roots. Ahhhh…did I mention we are bff’s? Totally. Not only does Des have an jam-packed Recipe Archive filled with delicious dishes, she also has a recipe, restaurant, blog/food, and life bucket list(s). Sheesh. She’s totally my hero.

You can imagine how difficult it was for me to choose a recipe from her extensive/awesome library.

However, because we are getting into spring, because summer is right around the corner, because I love lemons, and because I wanted dessert (shocker!)…I decided to take a wack at her Lemon Sour Cream Pie …only with my own spin on it. We all know that dairy has not been my bff at all lately…so we had to improvise…meaning no creamy, tangy sour cream for me. Boo!

So, instead, I used “cashew cream” as my sour cream in this pie. Holy goodness gracious.

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Y’all…this “creamy” pie is sinful.

Like “I need to go to confessional on Saturday before mass because of my gluttony for this dessert” sinful.

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I am 100% positive that it is as creamy with the sour cream.

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But the cashews…the cashews take the creamy texture to a whole notha’ level for a dairy-free dessert.

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I.can’t.even.

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Just go make it…a.s.a.p!

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Meyer Lemon Cashew Cream Pie
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 8
 
Ingredients
  • For the crust:
  • 2 c. raw, unsalted walnuts
  • 9 pitted Medjool dates, if dates are tough, soak in warm water for 15 minutes
  • ¼ c. unsweetened, shredded coconut
  • For the filling:
  • 2 c. raw, unsalted cashews, soaked overnight in water
  • ¾ c. water
  • ½ c. freshly sqeezed Meyer lemon juice, about 3 small Meyer lemons
  • ½ c. pure Maple syrup
  • 2 T. melted coconut oil
  • ½ t. pure Mexican vanilla extract
  • zest of 1 Meyer lemon
  • pinch of fine sea salt
Instructions
  1. Drain and rinse the cashews with cold water. Set aside.
  2. In the bowl of a large food processor, combine all of the crust ingredients on high until a somewhat sticky dough begins to form.
  3. Press the dough into a 9' springform pan. Set aside.
  4. Place all of the filling ingredients in the bowl of a food processor or a high powered blender and process on high until creamy.
  5. Pour the filling over the crust and spread evenly using a spatula.
  6. Cover with plastic wrap and freeze for atleast 4 hours or overnight.
  7. Let thaw slightly at room temperature before slicing and serving.
  8. Garnish with fresh lemon zest and fresh berries.

MANGIA!!!