In My Skin

I know I haven’t posted since February. Life has been busy. I moved into a new place of residence in May with my p.i.c. Amber. We met at work in January and became instant friends. It has been soooooo much fun. I got into a relationship with a really nice guy on Super Bowl (the day of super bowl to be exact). If anyone knows me, I am extremely private when I’m in a relationship, meaning, I don’t change my facebook status to “in a relationship,” and I don’t blast my significant other all over my instagram. Well, I broke up with him four weeks later because my heart was still hung up on the guy I was dating last year. My heart still hasn’t recovered from that, probs will take a million years to do so. Some crap happened in March with said guy because I like to make dumb decisions sometimes. What can I say? The heart governs the mind. Sometimes, you just have to risk things in life. Everything is a lesson. I’m 29 & I’m still learning. Fast forward to last month when I decided to give nice guy a second chance in order to reconfirm that it wasn’t my previous feelings for other guy that ended the relationship. Gave it about two weeks & I.felt.nothing. There were things missing. I couldn’t see him in my future. I wasn’t being myself. It was a mess. Y’all…to not have emotions or feelings is extremely out of the ordinary for me. I’m Italian, we hug strangers and cry when we listen to Frank Sinatra. Anyway, let’s jump to some stuff that’s been on my mind lately: being comfortable in your own skin.

I was recently on Twitter (yes, i have a Twitter acct. sue me) and I noticed a tweet from a guy basically shaming people for taking selfies. I don’t start drama or reply to b.s. on Twitter, so I started to think about this…a lot. Maybe taking a selfie means different things for people. I know a ton of people who think it’s all about vanity, but for me, it’s actually about self love and self confidence. I know that sounds crazy, but if you know anything about my past with body image (read this post), you will understand why. It’s not always pretty, I don’t always wear makeup or curl my hair, and I feel most comfortable in a long tank top, chilling on my bed watching t.v., with my house slippers on and my hair in a high pony. I have flaws, and I absolutely love them. I have freckles on my nose, dimples on the back of my thighs, and a J.LO booty to match. Have I thought about running myself to death trying to workout to get rid of that butt? Oh yes, but then I think…who am I doing that for? Not me. I love every inch of myself and why should i have to change that? Why can’t I take a selfie and gladly post it to social media with some inspirational quote or song or emoji? I will do what i want thank you very much. It’s taken me years to love myself for who I am. Hell, I still have days where I struggle but then I think, one day, I will find some lucky man who will love me for everything that I am, and I am completely content with that. Sooooo, eat the piece of cake, dance on the table at the club with your friend’s at 3 a.m., order the bottle of champagne, take that trip, and snap the damn selfie, and post it unabashedly to social media. You have my permission.

XOXO

Adulting 101

Soooooooooo…I’m 28, so I have been “adulting” for some time now.

And I still struggle with it.

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So, if this is you. No worries, I’m about to help y’all out.

But seriously…adulting is a constant thorn in my side.

I have days where I want to come home from work, kick off my heels, and just watch Netflix re-runs of The Hills, Full House, Gossip Girl, or One Tree Hill. That’s the kid in me.

That laundry can wait, right?

I have been so busy with work and life lately that whenever I start a new load of wash, I add them to my already dried clothes in the dryer and just dry them all together again.

Because why? Because I don’t want to fold anything.

P.S. that crap your mom told you about how your clothes would smell bad if you kept drying them is a myth. Throw 10,000 dryer sheets in there and you will smell like lavender rain all day.

A couple of months ago, I decided to drop my classes at my local university because I realized that I was in school not because I wanted to go back and get another degree, but because I was stuck in the “I have no idea what I want to do with my life” phase.

I have cycled through this phase a zillion times, but I feel now that I am on the right track.

Plus, I already have a bachelor’s degree soooooooo dropping college wasn’t a big deal.

Being a 28 year old college student surrounded by fresh out of high school 18 year old’s isn’t the life.

I decided I wanted to get my real estate license and become an agent.

Pass real estate exam: check

During that process, I started a new job working for a mortgage company as a relationship manager.

Fun stuff.

Now, all I have to do is get with a broker and ease myself into learning the market.

As I have gotten my life together, the future terrifies me less and less and excites me even more.

I look forward to what it holds, which is the unknown.

Currently, I am single and lately have been surrounded by friends that are either engaged, getting married, or having babies, or who are already married and on baby #2.

No pressure, right?

Wrong.

I still get asked by relatives if I am dating any new guys, or when I am getting married.

Luckily, I have learned to casually change the subject, unless I’m feeling extremely saucy that day and give them a taste of their own medicine.

No one prepped me for questions like that in college.

Oh, and once I became an adult, no one warned me that dating, cleaning house, paying bills, and raising a 80 lb. labrador retriever was going to be a complete beautiful, disorganized mess.

Soooooooo, allow me to share with you some of my tips for managing the stress that comes with being an adult.

#1. WRITE THINGS DOWN

This is pertaining to your bills. I don’t care if you keep a calendar on your phone, but take note of the day that your rent, cable, electricity, and other various necessities are due.

Set a reminder for them a week before.

Trust me, it will change your life.

I am not a planner type of person.

Planners are cute, but let’s be real, I’m not going to use one.

So, I use sticky notes and place them on my refrigerator because I am normally in the kitchen eating or cooking.

So, it’s a trusty reminder every time I open my freezer.

#2. CLEAN OUT YOUR “FRIENDS” LIST

Let me be clear here, people: Quality, not quantity is what we are looking for.

I had a good group of friends in high school.

I thought I would be friends with my best friend forever.

We always talked about how we would be each other’s maid of honor in our weddings and how we would go to college together.

Buuuuuut. Life happens and you are left with the realization of who your true friends are.

Ya, I ended up putting way too much effort into my friendships without my friends reciprocating the effort.

So, I stopped caring. I stopped making an effort.

Guess what? I’m still alive.

In fact, I have a few group of friends who I can count on for absolutely anything.

Yes, we may bicker and when my best friend asks me for advice, I may not tell her what she wants to hear.

However, I know that if I were in trouble or if it was the other way around, we could depend on each other.

That’s friendship.

So, get rid of those “friends” in your life that are taking up space in your phone book.

You will feel much better.

#3. MANAGE THAT CASH MONEY

I cannot stress this enough.

If you are in college, realize that you will have debt to pay.

No worries, don’t have an anxiety attack. Set up a loan payment plan after college and pay a little as you go.

You also need to learn the concept of savings. You don’t just get a paycheck and blow it on a brand new pair of shoes or a vacation.

Set some money aside in a savings account for each paycheck that you receive if you want to reward yourself in the future.

Lastly, think about building your credit score.

When I graduated college, I remember asking my mom what a credit score was.

Let’s just say…it’s freaking important.

If you pay your bills on time…your credit score will most likely be top notch.

In order to understand credit, check out Credit Card Insider. These people are the credit gurus.

#4. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

This will kill you.

You are your own person.

Who cares if high school Holly is married and has kids, or if your college bestie is the CEO of a fortune 500 company.

Everyone is different.

Everyone goes at their own pace.

You have different goals and are your own bad ass.

Plus, while you are comparing yourself to others, you are wasting valuable time achieving what you want.

Oh, and be reminded, there are people that would love to be you.

I know it’s crazy to think that, but people are comparing themselves to you.

My mom tells me this and I’m not sure if it’s just because she’s my mom.

But she’s right.

I just can’t see it. Or at least it was hard for me to see how cool I am in my past years.

#5. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

This is not the time to spend your life eating pizza and watching t.v. on the couch.

Well, except when you’ve had a long week at work and want to indulge on a Friday night.

But, you aren’t getting any younger.

Your health is important.

Schedule yearly doctor visits, start getting your ass to the gym, and eat healthy.

I love to cook and if you don’t, call someone who knows how and ask them if they can help you learn.

Invest in a good non-stick skillet and a baking sheet.

Life changers.

#6. GET ON A JET PLANE

Or take a road trip. You need to see the world.

You are young, vibrant, and the world is at your fingertips.

I’m still working on this.

I love taking mini weekend vacations to cities in my state where I adventure around town, eat at the best restaurants, and relax poolside at my hotel with a good book.

It is just what I need to get back on track.

My goal is to vacay to Greece next year.

Ya coming with me?

Be spontaneous, live outside your comfort zone, jump off of cliffs, go crazy…you will thank me later.

#7. KEEP LEARNING

Your mind is sooooooooo vast and deep.

There is tons of room for daily improvement.

I am constantly learning new things every day.

It keeps me on my toes.

Also, it’s important to be up to date on current events and what is happening in our world today.

Always use your voice to express your opinions.

Of course people will judge, but would you rather think like everyone else does?

Be different.

Stick to your values and beliefs, they will carry you  through.

#8. Get a pet.

Preferably, a dog.

Because I said so.

Because it is sooooooo much fun to come home to someone everyday who doesn’t judge you and just wants to take naps, go for long walks, and eat.

That’s loyalty my friends.

#9. DRINK COFFEE

It’s the only legal drug i can convince you to indulge in.

Drink it black or with sugar or with sugar and cream or with whipped cream.

However you want, really. Just caffeinate yourself.

You want to be cheery and well liked by your coworkers/friends etc. and be able to get crap done.

Therefore coffee is a necessity.

Alright, this is taking too much time out of my daily adulting routine.

If you need me, I will probably be folding laundry and watching Netflix…multi-tasking (add that to your list 🙂 )