This post might be super duper emotional.
Warning to all those who can cry at the drop of a hat.
But for me…it’s actually empowering…strengthening even.
4 years ago…not so much.
I would have never talked about my struggle w/ food.
The idea of eating anything at all was a day to day issue.
I feel that this week, more than any other week of the year, is THE WEEK to bring the topic of eating disorders into the forefront.
This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.
I had an eating disorder.
I was anorexic.
4 years ago, I was concerned about every little piece of food that I put in my body.
Food was the only thing I could control.
It was my enemy.
Food was frightening, not nourishing.
Carbs in any form (even sweet potatoes) were off limits.
Anything over 200 calories for breakfast or dinner…not happening.
One cup of coffee please!?
Maybe a bite of a banana.
I felt shame when I ate anything sweet at all.
It would ruin my day.
I would avoid making plans w/ my friends because I didn’t want to tell them why I wasn’t eating.
4 years ago…I would have been terrified to speak about my story.
I never would have thought that I would have confessed to having an eating disorder.
I thank God every day that my parents and seester helped me realized the hurt I was causing myself.
At the time, I was internalizing everything in my life, my future, stress, college, jobs, and family issues.
I want others who are going through the same thing to know that a strong family bond is critical during this time.
At the same time, I feel remorse and bewilderment for those who don’t have a strong support system.
Any eating disorder is a disease.
I found out that it can cause problems later on in life, as well.
A year ago, I sought out help from a local reproductive endocrinologist after suffering with PCOS since high school.
I wanted to control it once and for all.
What I learned that day was something that would change my next year forever.
The doctor told me to get a bone scan, which revealed that I had osteoporosis of the spine, and was borderline osteoporotic in my hips and ankles.
We came to the conclusion, that at my young age, one of the factors had been my past eating disorder.
The fact that I wasn’t taking calcium and vitamin d3 or getting them my diet were also factors.
This was a wake up call.
In the past 12 months, i have completely revamped my lifestyle.
From my exercise routine to my eating habits, and my overall health in general.
In the past 12 months, I have gained around 25 pounds.
No, I didn’t go out and eat 12 3-pound burgers…I did it the healthy way.
For the first time in my life, I started eating a full-on proper diet.
I also cut back on my running…around 2 days/week, and hit pilates and yoga more often.
I can confidently say that I am the happiest I have been in years.
I have a new job and most importantly, I feel amazing in my own skin.
This is me.
This was me all along.
The confidence was always there.
I just had to dig a little deeper than most to find it 🙂
I want to be an inspiration for the all the men and women who are suffering w/ an eating disorder.
Because my blog is about living a healthy lifestyle, i feel that I cannot go without touching on this subject.
It’s muy muy importante to seek help for an eating disorder.
Now, my life is about balance.
I know that it’s okay to have a cupcake, eat a salad, ride a bike, or have a piece of candy on a daily basis.
I try and live my life to the fullest everyday.
Taking care of my body and my health is number 1 on my list.
Your body truly is a temple, so treat it that way.
Workout within your means, give your body the proper nourishment it needs, leave room for dessert, and step outside of your comfort zone to enjoy life to the fullest.