Let’s chat about dating.
We’ve all done it.
But online dating? Sure, why not.
At least that is what I thought.
I’m 28, not 18, so I’m not exactly hitting up bars every night of the week, drinking myself into oblivion, coming home at sunrise with my heels in hand, and trying to figure out why I have mascara on my shirt and $2 left of the $150 I started with.
I’m more of the I’m exhausted after working all day, wind down with a glass of wine, take a long walk with the dog while listening to angry rap lyrics and mushy country music kind of gal.
Let’s face it, meeting new people this day in age is difficult.
I practically have to schedule my grocery shopping trips between 2-3 p.m. on Saturday hoping that I will run into Mr. Right and we will lock eyes as we both reach for the last avocado in the produce aisle.
Totally joking. 😉
Growing up, I wasn’t the girl who dated every single guy in my high school.
I’m not sure if that is because I went to HS with a little over 150 students or because I grew up knowing half of the good looking-ish male population that went to my school.
Plus, I was super shy and if any guy wanted to date me, I definitely didn’t know about it.
College was a little of the same thing, but mostly my fault, as I was “oblivious” to flirting and wanted to do nothing more than bury my head in books and graduate with honors.
This past year, I thought I had met the man I was going to marry. I still think he’s the guy for me.
I’m just waiting for him to realize he f***** up.
Funny thing is, we met on a dating site.
I have no shame.
I was skeptical.
But who knew I would meet someone that was extremely normal.
It blew my mind.
I remember calling my younger sister after he broke up with me.
She may be two years younger, but she has been through way more crap in her love life and as a result, has become a wise “dear Abby” confidant that gives the best advice.
I remember telling her that “it stung, it hurt, my heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest, rearranged, and put back in.”
What I love is that her response was “it’s going to hurt, Chels, it’s going to hurt like hell. Guess what? You are going to have to pick yourself up and focus on you…again. It’s going to be tough. You are going to have days where you won’t be able to think about anything else. You will probably question your worth, your beauty, and your character, but let me tell you something…none of this is your fault. In the end, you will see this as a stepping stone on your journey in life, and that’s the best part.”
Oh, little smart seester of mine. She was totally correct.
I’ve been on one date since then and it was a disaster date.
Let’s just say, drinks were had, 4 hours of meaningless conversation, no dinner, leaving me starved at midnight and driving through the nearest Sonic for two chili cheese dogs and a diet Dr. Pepper (because I gotta keep my figure).
So, for a little hot minute, I have been on a dating detox.
Yes, I have been on outings, but I’m not sure if you would refer to them as dates. More of “hangouts.”
But detox as in no social media dating.
No “stage-five stalker-clingers” hitting me up via Facebook for day dates.
The only dates I have been on are 4 mile evening walks with my dog, Coupe.
He gets me.
Being able to focus on myself again has been wonderful.
I started a new job, started writing more on my blog, net-flixed re-runs of Gossip Girl until I thought I was Serena Van der Woodsen, and picked up my guitar and started playing.
It’s been blissful.
I can say with 100% certainty, that I really love myself as a person.
It wasn’t easy to rocket launch myself into the dating world, but I wouldn’t change my experiences for anything.
If anything, it’s made me a stronger, wiser, and all around better person.
In the meantime, keep eating and being you!