In My Skin

I know I haven’t posted since February. Life has been busy. I moved into a new place of residence in May with my p.i.c. Amber. We met at work in January and became instant friends. It has been soooooo much fun. I got into a relationship with a really nice guy on Super Bowl (the day of super bowl to be exact). If anyone knows me, I am extremely private when I’m in a relationship, meaning, I don’t change my facebook status to “in a relationship,” and I don’t blast my significant other all over my instagram. Well, I broke up with him four weeks later because my heart was still hung up on the guy I was dating last year. My heart still hasn’t recovered from that, probs will take a million years to do so. Some crap happened in March with said guy because I like to make dumb decisions sometimes. What can I say? The heart governs the mind. Sometimes, you just have to risk things in life. Everything is a lesson. I’m 29 & I’m still learning. Fast forward to last month when I decided to give nice guy a second chance in order to reconfirm that it wasn’t my previous feelings for other guy that ended the relationship. Gave it about two weeks & I.felt.nothing. There were things missing. I couldn’t see him in my future. I wasn’t being myself. It was a mess. Y’all…to not have emotions or feelings is extremely out of the ordinary for me. I’m Italian, we hug strangers and cry when we listen to Frank Sinatra. Anyway, let’s jump to some stuff that’s been on my mind lately: being comfortable in your own skin.

I was recently on Twitter (yes, i have a Twitter acct. sue me) and I noticed a tweet from a guy basically shaming people for taking selfies. I don’t start drama or reply to b.s. on Twitter, so I started to think about this…a lot. Maybe taking a selfie means different things for people. I know a ton of people who think it’s all about vanity, but for me, it’s actually about self love and self confidence. I know that sounds crazy, but if you know anything about my past with body image (read this post), you will understand why. It’s not always pretty, I don’t always wear makeup or curl my hair, and I feel most comfortable in a long tank top, chilling on my bed watching t.v., with my house slippers on and my hair in a high pony. I have flaws, and I absolutely love them. I have freckles on my nose, dimples on the back of my thighs, and a J.LO booty to match. Have I thought about running myself to death trying to workout to get rid of that butt? Oh yes, but then I think…who am I doing that for? Not me. I love every inch of myself and why should i have to change that? Why can’t I take a selfie and gladly post it to social media with some inspirational quote or song or emoji? I will do what i want thank you very much. It’s taken me years to love myself for who I am. Hell, I still have days where I struggle but then I think, one day, I will find some lucky man who will love me for everything that I am, and I am completely content with that. Sooooo, eat the piece of cake, dance on the table at the club with your friend’s at 3 a.m., order the bottle of champagne, take that trip, and snap the damn selfie, and post it unabashedly to social media. You have my permission.

XOXO

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